I hate Christmas oh so much! It always leaves me feeling lonely and a materialistic bitch. I barely got one thing that I wanted, a 4 item list and the one thing they tried to get is useless at the moment. I put clothes on my damn list, no clothes this year. The night before X-mas Eve I was up till 3 in the morning baking and cleaning. I tried to do a new choco-chip cookie recipe, they came out flat w/ the choco-chips in the center, man they teased me for it. "She usually does so good," said my mom," They look like Fluffy's puke." Everybody ate the puke-looking mush, dubbed cookie mush, in fact it was the most popular dessert of the four I made. That didn't stop them from bugging me about it and asking what happen like I've baked perfectly from the very first time i put something in the oven.

Why else should I hate X-mas? it comes and everything is built up to it for months, then at midnight, it disappears and, w/my family, everybody goes their way like it never really happened. anybody know how deppressing it is to sit amonst torn up wrapping paper alone in a room wondering where everybody went or if some one will play the new game with you or get yelled at to clean the house the very same day? that's me most years. well i hope my thoughts haven't brought any of the few who read this blog down( and i know very few people do). if so, forget you read it and enjoy the holiday.


I fell asleep a four o'clock this morning, My Dad woke me up at five, I fell back asleep and woke up at 8:30. I feel the most relax and awake since the year began. What's to say about my silent celebration? I cleaned a lot. I had the urge to and did, pretty sad. Then, after my dad woke me up, I had a very long dream about the life of two people I've never met before. It was kinda like an episode of 20/20, the two people, a boy around 9 or 10 and a teenage girl(15 or 16) were killed somehow and I watched their life stories. The girl was going to be a flamingo dancer and the boy was just an ordinary, fun-loving boy, both of them were from European countries.
Anyway, I recently came back inside from talking to Jamie and DJ. We filled each other in on plans for Christmas and New Years, I wish I could invite them over, but my parents don't approve of them and my uncle would have a couple of things to say behind their backs, to which I can do nothing about, "Respect your elders" type thing. However, they approve of everybody else that they have met and are allowing them to come over(hint: I'm locking myself in a room and have no plans to come out until midnight when I can open gifts), but everybody is welcome to stop by*cheesy smile*
Anyway, that's it of my boring life. Blessed Be! Peace!


Today I did my first session of equine-therepy(working with horses to deal with issues) The therepist is getting annoyed w/my parents, they didn't come, and my dad totally forgot about it. *Laugh* I have a big hunch that she'll do a family session soon.
Anyway, I'm going to try putting some quizzes on(Hey, I have all night, tonight's the Winter Solstice*Grin*)
You's a demon, bi-yatch!
Which Typical Anti-Hero Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Slit Throat(self-inflicted). A slit throat
may show what a person is truly feeling, as
well as their interest in the more morose. The
person will often be reclusive, or have a
dark/bitter dispositon. They might have a
strage fetish, such as vampires, blood, or

How this effects you:
You yourself, may find you agreeing with some
of, if not all of the symptoms above, if you do
happen to have some similarities to this
stereotype, I suggest you get the help you
need, and more then likely, deserve.

How Will You Die? (Caution: Graphic Photos)
brought to you by Quizilla

you are a razor blade . you dont really
give a flip what people say just vent your
anger on your wrist or any other part of your

You Hurt Yourself. But How?
brought to you by Quizilla

I used to say
Life hasn't been very kind to you, has it? Although
gentle by nature, you've more than reached the
breaking point. Maybe all the hardship you've
had to endure isn't an excuse for murder, but
it's certainly a good explanation for it.
You're an extremely tense and reserved person,
full of suppressed rage and sadness. You sure
are good with animals, though.

What Lovable Fictional Sociopath Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You hate your family! How you wish you could take
your dog and leave Kansas.

What type of people do you despise?
brought to you by Quizilla

You Are:
You are dark, and a psychopathic freak. Cool.

How Dark Are You?
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test
WOOOOO! Sado-masochism!

Are you damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

You're coming back! And if you are a Hindu you are going to have very specific characteristics:

"The slayer of a woman and the destroyer of embryos becomes a savage full of diseases; who commits illicit intercourse, a eunuch; who goes with his teacherĂ¢€™s wife, disease-skinned. The eater of flesh becomes very red; the drinker of intoxicants, one with discolored teeth...." (Garuda Purana)

You may be a Serial Killer!

What is your mental profile?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm going to Hell because I write slash fanfiction!
You write awful slash fanfiction and bring shame
upon your family. (Or you read it and
have thought about writing your own, and that's
bad enough.)

The shadow of your evil
will remain on this earth for as long as the
Web lasts.

You should be hanged in front
of angry villagers on Christmas Day, you sick

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am 49% evil.
Take the test :: koolplace.com

I'm Death!
Which Member of the Endless Are You?
That's enough for now.
Happy Solstice!!!!


The semester is finally over, hope everybody got a decent grade on their final (good luck to those who still have one more to take!) or get a good one on the report card. Nobody's going anywhere, yet. Today, I spent time with Quita. We went to Stevie Bs, then she KOed on my couch(second time she's done that) until it was time for her to go to work on her senior project(Hope U didn't fall asleep during the middle of a kick as U thought!). I must admit that I find her getting closer to Tim every day, despite some of her paranoia about it, she talks about him w/o thinking about it sometimes. IT'S SO CUTE!! Anyway my niece/nephew is due August 7 and it may be twins!!! The family may go visit them soon at their zoo like home, w/ Fluffy. They have so many animals now, they have begun to eat one another. So far, a one-eyed hamster and a kitten have been eaten, two cats have gotten feline leukemia, and the dog that ate the others has been sold. I'd worry for Fluffy if she were to stay there. Blessed Be! Peace!


It's been a while since I wrote, o well. I've gone back to my counselor a few more times. She's having doubts that she can help me, but I encourage her to keep trying. Everything must be right for my freedom plan to work. I must appear normal and happy. Recently, I've allowed her to try to convince my parents to try equine therapy, work with the horses. My parents are looking bad as they continue to say no. What else needs to be told?
I hang out with Jamie and DJ more. They're an interesting group, goths and freaks! I spent most of the day Saturday together, then it was just me and DJ on Sunday. He's helping me learn and increase my wiccan ability(he's a natural/ hereditary!) Anyway, I am finding this year, near the end, unlike any other year ever. I'm daring to get close to people and go out to play more and further away from home now. A little yearly revue thing. Blessed be! Peace!!!


Today has been a weird day. I got into forth block feeling like I smoked something strong, and practically ran around the room, after struggling to stay awake in third block. Anyway, it's the day after meeting the counselor, who I found amusing as she practically ignored and made some fun of my mom's control issues with high intelligent sarcasm. I'm going back to her, by myself next week.


Hey crazy people!
I've been in and out of school for parts of the day these past couple of weeks. The reason: my parents say I need counseling; Irony: My parents spend the whole time talking to the person, while I sit in a corner. The dude says that I'm depressed, but who among the CHS students doesn't have issues? Anyway I start one-on-one counseling Nov. 11, my Mom's b-day. *chuckles* She's been mean to me, so as my dad, and the rest of my family tries to make me feel guilty. Whatever.
J and Rachel aren't on the run anymore, they were caught at the PX. J was in home room saying very little about. Now he's telling the story. Very interesting, nothing like the rumors(Thank God!!)
Have a Great Halloween and Samhain!!


Mood: Mad, yet calm
Topic: School and life

Why do I stay at CHS? Is it the academic challenge? Hell No! The fact that colleges look at the school you went to? Nope. I go because I know people there, my parents know this, or they would've had me leave long ago(they hate it more than me). Now freshman, sophomore, and junior years were pretty easy. Why do they wait till senior year to work hard at kicking people out? This year is suppose to be a breeze, but no they give us the project that decides if we graduate, I thought the graduation test did that. They give homework with this senior project time, volunteer work, and expect us to work and have a social life. Scratch the last two items(Social time= 15 min before school and stuff squeezed in, bus, little car rides, "study groups") Enough bitching, I'm happy now!

This past 3-day weekend has been the most fun I've had during a 3-day weekend in a while: Sat.: SAT(got there 8:00, test started 10:00, the between time was spent with J, Rach, Tim, and others I so happened to bump into) Picked up Oreo at BK. I kidnapped Jamie after some window shopping, so Oreo and her met, then we went to the mall and acted stupid(on the way there, we met the Shoney Bear and he threw obscenities at us, we tried to kidnap him on the way back from the mall, but rules prevented it) Oreo pigged out on pizza!!! Then we went to the PX so she could get money, but it was 8:00, so she went home. On the way to Best Buy w/ Jamie, I sort of had a race with another Civic, and was going 110 down the highway till the other guy turned at exit 6. I was home at 9:00. Sun: nothing happened.
Monday: I got to play with the Shoney Bear(his real name is DJ, such a sweet heart) Anyway I picked up Jamie and DJ, then we went to Warehouse Music and bought speakers(now I can listen to CDs in the car!) Then we drove around trying to find a place open that cashes checks, ended up at Winn Dixie forced to spend $6.00 of it on food(or else they wouldn't cash it). Then we went on the hunt for the only temple for EVERY religion(New Age, Christina, they don't care) in the Columbus area, and found it. We talked to the owner for an hour(she talked we listened putting little bits of info in). I dropped Jamie off at her place, picked up dinner for my parents(Side Note: the kitchen is being remodeled and we can't use the stove). Then I dropped DJ off, ended up talking to him for an hour while his siblings circled the car. Got home and my mom asked tons of questions(who is he? Where is he from?...) She got tired of asking me questions and we went out for coffee.
Great news for those who want to know: I feel all better now(outside of cough)!!!
Oreo: Jamie and DJ want you to join us Fridays.
Peter: We must challenge the German Club to bowling Nov 27


Mood: Angry and Tired
Topic: Family Love

Hey everybody! Day 3 out of school with ear infection. Tried to go to school as my parents wished, didn't make it to first block. Unfortunately for them, I have friends that give a damn. Unfortunately for me, my parents yelled at me, saying never to read the side effects, that the entire family has taken the same medicine without problems, blah, blah, blah. Bullshit! Only one of the drugs has been taken by the others(Motrin) and the other two are specifically for the ear (me and my cousin are thee only two that get ear infections, and she's too young to get such stuff) My mom, the great hypocrite that she is, told me yesterday to have something light with the medicine, yogurt or milk. Today, she comes in yelling saying "my way" isn't working and to eat toast or something heavy. They're sending me to school tomorrow and I better not call them, unless it's the nurse saying I need an ambulance. I can honestly say I don't like my parents.
Anyway, a quick review of the past week, thus far: went shopping on Sat. found a black velvet and satin suit: $100, the girl of the hour(my friend, Tanya) couldn't find an outfit for homecoming, her skinnier friends, every outfit they tried on was perfect and they already had stuff to wear, (bitches!). Sunday: studied w/ Oreo and J, total time w/ them: 4 hours, studying done: Ă‚½ hour to 1 hour. Monday: Writhing in pain, 'nuff said; Tuesday: doctor for drugs; Wednesday: You already know. Missed tests and reviews and extra credit and club meetings(I can't go to Tokyo *tear *) Being absent sucks.
Finally, I would like say "I luv U, Oreo," for giving me the notes missed. Sorry to say this, but my computer won't open APES stuff, something about a virus. I would also like to apologize to Peter and Anna(Iheard the meeting didn't go well yesterday, next time slap them with a ruler, consider it a cultural experience of the Japanese schools)


Mood: peaceful
Topic: Me and computers this week
I have only one computer that works and figured this out when two of my blogs came out as triangles. God Bless my parents for getting a $900 computer with appleworks!They were so proud of the find, bragged how it was on sale, and refused to try anything that could make it better, like a CD burner, or something so I don't to e-mail myself to save stuff, out of fear the computer may be destroyed. So I stole my dad's computer. Anyway quick review of the week: went to the Lovett College Fair(I got weird looks for wearing suit and tie, and doing it better than the guys), had more fun at the mall afterward(I plan to steal, or buy, the wings on the Victoria Secret's mannequins), took the car to go to a study group, but took Ruiz to visit Rachel instead, took a test on Wed.(The one Quita and I were suppose to study for), discovered I passed the test Thurs., and found out I had 3 kids and another on the way on Fri. (Yep!I had to do a skit for AP science, the oldest was the mother).About Friday, I usually go to Hollywood and hang out w/my gothic/punk/freak friends, but this Friday, few were there so Jamie(next door neighbor and close friend) and I drove around, almost got into a wreck, weirded people out at Books a Million, picked up another friend at a gas station, went to Walmart(scared people there), then went home. That's my week.


Mood: Happy
Topic: Japan Fest!!!

Today I got to go to Stone Mountain's Japan Fest with a big group of Japan club members. Despite the annoyances of those that will remain nameless and the fact that most of the stuff was sold, it was a great trip. I got to spend two hours talking to and reading manga with Peter(We really just looked at the pictures and guessed meanings and symbolisms). If only all trips would be so grand. Anyway, I walked around the little vendors and got some free stuff(Peter= the fudge shop was giving free sample when I got the funnel cake, pumpkin pie was delicious). I bought some stuff, two of which were out of curiosity, but so worth it. The other item was a fan for a friend, Jamie, I wish she could've come. The other part of the time, Peter and I just walked around and talked since we don't see each other anymore, then we ate. The teriaki chicken and rice was great, but the salad couldn't be trusted. Peter tried to win CD's with Ashley, but better guessers were in the crowd, so nobody in the group won anything. The song guessing ended and everybody had to return to the bus, but late people caused us to be late getting back to Columbus. I gave Ashley a ride home, then went home, just to be forced to clean the house before I got the second foot in the door, but nothing can destroy my happiness when I have the magical Hello Kitty Bubble Maker.


Mood: bored
Topic: Hi!

I don't have much to say as this was a quick decision. My parents went to the beach without me, one friend is camping, and I can't find my others. This is also going to be my last week with my dog, Fluffy, so I'm spending all the bit of time I can with her, but she's so lazy she's sleeping at my feet. A normal Saturday.