I hate Christmas oh so much! It always leaves me feeling lonely and a materialistic bitch. I barely got one thing that I wanted, a 4 item list and the one thing they tried to get is useless at the moment. I put clothes on my damn list, no clothes this year. The night before X-mas Eve I was up till 3 in the morning baking and cleaning. I tried to do a new choco-chip cookie recipe, they came out flat w/ the choco-chips in the center, man they teased me for it. "She usually does so good," said my mom," They look like Fluffy's puke." Everybody ate the puke-looking mush, dubbed cookie mush, in fact it was the most popular dessert of the four I made. That didn't stop them from bugging me about it and asking what happen like I've baked perfectly from the very first time i put something in the oven.

Why else should I hate X-mas? it comes and everything is built up to it for months, then at midnight, it disappears and, w/my family, everybody goes their way like it never really happened. anybody know how deppressing it is to sit amonst torn up wrapping paper alone in a room wondering where everybody went or if some one will play the new game with you or get yelled at to clean the house the very same day? that's me most years. well i hope my thoughts haven't brought any of the few who read this blog down( and i know very few people do). if so, forget you read it and enjoy the holiday.


I fell asleep a four o'clock this morning, My Dad woke me up at five, I fell back asleep and woke up at 8:30. I feel the most relax and awake since the year began. What's to say about my silent celebration? I cleaned a lot. I had the urge to and did, pretty sad. Then, after my dad woke me up, I had a very long dream about the life of two people I've never met before. It was kinda like an episode of 20/20, the two people, a boy around 9 or 10 and a teenage girl(15 or 16) were killed somehow and I watched their life stories. The girl was going to be a flamingo dancer and the boy was just an ordinary, fun-loving boy, both of them were from European countries.
Anyway, I recently came back inside from talking to Jamie and DJ. We filled each other in on plans for Christmas and New Years, I wish I could invite them over, but my parents don't approve of them and my uncle would have a couple of things to say behind their backs, to which I can do nothing about, "Respect your elders" type thing. However, they approve of everybody else that they have met and are allowing them to come over(hint: I'm locking myself in a room and have no plans to come out until midnight when I can open gifts), but everybody is welcome to stop by*cheesy smile*
Anyway, that's it of my boring life. Blessed Be! Peace!


Today I did my first session of equine-therepy(working with horses to deal with issues) The therepist is getting annoyed w/my parents, they didn't come, and my dad totally forgot about it. *Laugh* I have a big hunch that she'll do a family session soon.
Anyway, I'm going to try putting some quizzes on(Hey, I have all night, tonight's the Winter Solstice*Grin*)
You's a demon, bi-yatch!
Which Typical Anti-Hero Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Slit Throat(self-inflicted). A slit throat
may show what a person is truly feeling, as
well as their interest in the more morose. The
person will often be reclusive, or have a
dark/bitter dispositon. They might have a
strage fetish, such as vampires, blood, or

How this effects you:
You yourself, may find you agreeing with some
of, if not all of the symptoms above, if you do
happen to have some similarities to this
stereotype, I suggest you get the help you
need, and more then likely, deserve.

How Will You Die? (Caution: Graphic Photos)
brought to you by Quizilla

you are a razor blade . you dont really
give a flip what people say just vent your
anger on your wrist or any other part of your

You Hurt Yourself. But How?
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I used to say
Life hasn't been very kind to you, has it? Although
gentle by nature, you've more than reached the
breaking point. Maybe all the hardship you've
had to endure isn't an excuse for murder, but
it's certainly a good explanation for it.
You're an extremely tense and reserved person,
full of suppressed rage and sadness. You sure
are good with animals, though.

What Lovable Fictional Sociopath Are You?
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You hate your family! How you wish you could take
your dog and leave Kansas.

What type of people do you despise?
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You Are:
You are dark, and a psychopathic freak. Cool.

How Dark Are You?
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test
WOOOOO! Sado-masochism!

Are you damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

You're coming back! And if you are a Hindu you are going to have very specific characteristics:

"The slayer of a woman and the destroyer of embryos becomes a savage full of diseases; who commits illicit intercourse, a eunuch; who goes with his teacherĂ¢€™s wife, disease-skinned. The eater of flesh becomes very red; the drinker of intoxicants, one with discolored teeth...." (Garuda Purana)

You may be a Serial Killer!

What is your mental profile?
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I'm going to Hell because I write slash fanfiction!
You write awful slash fanfiction and bring shame
upon your family. (Or you read it and
have thought about writing your own, and that's
bad enough.)

The shadow of your evil
will remain on this earth for as long as the
Web lasts.

You should be hanged in front
of angry villagers on Christmas Day, you sick

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am 49% evil.
Take the test :: koolplace.com

I'm Death!
Which Member of the Endless Are You?
That's enough for now.
Happy Solstice!!!!


The semester is finally over, hope everybody got a decent grade on their final (good luck to those who still have one more to take!) or get a good one on the report card. Nobody's going anywhere, yet. Today, I spent time with Quita. We went to Stevie Bs, then she KOed on my couch(second time she's done that) until it was time for her to go to work on her senior project(Hope U didn't fall asleep during the middle of a kick as U thought!). I must admit that I find her getting closer to Tim every day, despite some of her paranoia about it, she talks about him w/o thinking about it sometimes. IT'S SO CUTE!! Anyway my niece/nephew is due August 7 and it may be twins!!! The family may go visit them soon at their zoo like home, w/ Fluffy. They have so many animals now, they have begun to eat one another. So far, a one-eyed hamster and a kitten have been eaten, two cats have gotten feline leukemia, and the dog that ate the others has been sold. I'd worry for Fluffy if she were to stay there. Blessed Be! Peace!


It's been a while since I wrote, o well. I've gone back to my counselor a few more times. She's having doubts that she can help me, but I encourage her to keep trying. Everything must be right for my freedom plan to work. I must appear normal and happy. Recently, I've allowed her to try to convince my parents to try equine therapy, work with the horses. My parents are looking bad as they continue to say no. What else needs to be told?
I hang out with Jamie and DJ more. They're an interesting group, goths and freaks! I spent most of the day Saturday together, then it was just me and DJ on Sunday. He's helping me learn and increase my wiccan ability(he's a natural/ hereditary!) Anyway, I am finding this year, near the end, unlike any other year ever. I'm daring to get close to people and go out to play more and further away from home now. A little yearly revue thing. Blessed be! Peace!!!