Damn it

My dad took my mom to the hospital at 10. He called me a half an hour ago to say that they are keeping her in the hospital for 24-48 hours. She was doing fine when I saw her at work, but she came home in pain. I'm sure most people have either seen or felt the pain I saw in her eyes. We've had a lot of issues with each other, a lot of issues, but she's my mom and I feel like I'm watching her fall apart. She's already needed her gallbladder removed and has had to go to the doctors every month for the past year at least.
Can't help but scream that this is bullshit. She took care of herself and lived a decently healthy life, while people who never gave a crap about their health have a clean bill. I know life isn't fair and all that crap, but it's not just her. My dad's been on pain medicine for years, which increases and decreases with the season, and has a metal rod in his neck. He's been going to the doctors more recently with feet and leg issues. My bro's has been going to the doctor a lot lately as well. He got a mysterious illness that the doctors say he shouldn't get at his age and they're worried it may sterilize him. In addition to his issues at home, his sis called at 2 in the morning and say that mom is in the hospital. He would've been pissed if I waited until morning and told him this started last night. I feel the same way, and am glad I'm home so I didn't have to get the call from dad while hours away. Still got a call, but it was to research possible conditions(wish I didn't, it set me more on edge).
The dog is still on steriods and antibiotics. I have to take her to the doctor sometime next week to see if she needs a refill.
No sleep for the Rodriguez family tonight. Maybe with all of this off my chest, rest will come. It's amazing how things can work in 12 hours. I'm suppose to go to work my last day tomorrow, but I don't feel up to it anymore.
LATER

They left me alone for 45 minutes...

I start my new job on Monday.

Gah!

Just a quicky to say I got a job. Nobody in the kitchen knows English. Tips are good though and all mine. It's 5 minutes from my house. One girl has mad it her mission to make me speak fluent Spanish. It's during lunch time only for now, but can be switched to dinner on the weekend.

I got home and found an offer for another job. Everybody speaks English. The tips are shared. It's in the Columbus downtown area. They're nice Greek people and recommended me for another job when they didn't have an immediate opening. It's only open for lunch Monday-Saturday.

No clue what to do, but it feels good to have my options out of my head so the headache can stop.

Oh, for those who care and read this, renfest has been moved to April 28.
LATER

Why do I bother?

I was told to present on Tuesday(today) in English Grammar and determined myself to get ready for anything and everything. The students tend to have a lot of questions. Well I was like, I'm not doing a thing until I knew the chapter, giving up Saturday (nerdcon) and part of Sunday(movie day) to this topic, which shouldn't have been so hard. Articles (yes- a, an, the) should not have so much to them! Go into class feeling all prepared and like I can answer anything given, and the group before me takes the entire fucking class period. Damn it the things was only suppose to be twenty minutes long, they take an hour and fucking fifteen minutes and I left knowing less than when I came in. They were presenting articles!!
In more annoying news, my bro can't come down until May now. Blood is thicker than water my ass. I am not getting anymore work done from him this is ridiculous. And they keep coming up with excuses. They don't have enough money to visit my family and fix something he didn't finish like he should've, but they've visited her grandparents 3 times since the whole tattoo thing started. This should've been finished before Christmas. They can't afford gas, yet they've gone to Myrtle Beach. I keep saying I won't get my hopes up this time, but I can't help but to hope. Is it too much to think that I go where I say I'm going and help when I say I'll help, so they should to.
I just wanna go to bed and forget these past 4 days and that I ever had hope.
LATER

one day i'll move north- away from the freakish heat

Fluffy is acting like pup again. I'm glad it wasn't the food issue, her pickiness means that she hates the cuts in gravy food. Her stomach looks better now, too. The medicine is doing wonders which is good, we would've had to put her to sleep if it didn't work.
My bro is coming to finish my tattoo next week, which excites me greatly. I was going to get a corset piercing at the same time, but I decided not to at this time for 3 major reasons- 1. I need somebody to help clean it and my parents are going away for a week or so almost immediately afterwards 2. I can't sleep on my back and 3. I need to wear nearly backless shirts, which I only have 2 right now. Maybe in beginning of summer. Getting the tattoo done when they come down means it'll be scabby for renfest, but oh well. I'm excited about renfest and seeing people. It'll be nice to have a semi-filled house. Come if you have nothing to do.
Anyway, yesterday I read little notebooks I kept from CHS. All the students who went should know these books, the forced journal entries dealing with random topics on the whiteboard or music. Then I read the stuff I posted here and thought of things graduates said to me recently, those that barely knew me, not the group. Was I really such a creepy person on the surface and angry? I know I'm quiet and come off a little cold at time, almost hermit-like, but it's hard not to be.

Paranoia revealed

It's been an eventful day today, starting with midnight. I was brushing Fluffy because of boredom and looked at her stomach to see a strange lump, a weird patch of scabby skin, and bald spot. It was really scary to see and feel and, since it was midnight, I couldn't talk to anybody. I cleaned it up and decided to take her to the vets on Monday. She turned ten in October and I'm paranoid about her health, more so than even my own at times. Anything to keep the pup healthy.
Some good news came this morning, before my dad took me to see 300(which was really cool despite some inaccuracies that few would notice). My bro and his family plan on coming down in April, so I can finish my tattoo. I want to have it over with so bad and started on another, though I don't think my bro will be doing it. Maybe if it's small and a guarantee one shot deal. He also plans on renewing the wedding vows in June '08 on a beach in Destin. The scary thing is that his wife wants me to be the maid of honor. I don't even know what comes with the job. Do I have to do a "bachelorette party" since this is vow renewal? Do I have to do a speech? Oh gods, what do I say if this is so? What kind of dress will she pick? I know the color, it's going to be a black dress, but not the style. I hope she takes the advice I gave her seriously because I hold a mutiny if she picks a useless and ugly dress.

LATER

Wanna be my friend?

Well, my spring break is almost over and, in the usual manner, it has been very quiet. Except for the storm the Thursday and weekend I spent at Lindsay's Statesboro apartment and with her theatre friends. They're all so cool and close to each other for the most part. I got to hang out at the waffle house on Friday and IHOP on Saturday after the show, which was about a Barbie brought to life by a toxic spill. I liked it in all its cuteness and funniness. We went to Savannah on Sunday and hung out at the mall and the flea market for a little bit. I got my dad a b-day gift. He loves it and plans on giving it a proper place very soon.
I came back to Columbus and thought about my lack of friends and realized I'm doing it again. The isolating thing, I need to join a group on campus and get involved in something. That helped my senior year in high school quite a bit, but it's going to end up that I wait to the last year again before trying to make some friends again. Don't get me wrong, I prefer having a few close friends then a bunch of acquaintances, tried that in one middle school and it ended up hurting more. I dunno, I think too much about these things I guess.
Later