...one day I'll have the ability to say it to my mom and the speed to run away. I just needed an outlet for the rage building up at this time.
I'm also having difficulty telling them the dreams I've been having. How exactly do you tell you parents you have a dream where you beat them to death and buried them in the dining room, but in the process of burying them in the dining room you found an empty box of cereal(cheerios) which brought up the memory of a blonde haired woman who did the same thing except it was to her children and husband. It was so fucking creepy. That's not the only dream dealing with them. Before yesterday's dream, I had a dream that we were at a festival and I was walking around, through flee markets and around a parade where gold coins were thrown. Anyway, I got to this bridge and my parents met me there in the white car, but an old guy was driving the car. My dad came out of the car and asked "where's fluffy?" She was below the bridge. She climbed out and a triangle formed- me, my dad, and Fluffy. Something is going to happen to my family. I need to understand everything, if it really means what I'm getting. I don't think I can stand waking up with tears another morning. LATER
SIDE NOTE TO KALAN: I meant that you were very happy, not that you would skip around.