Back from my brother's house. Didn't do much, I didn't even get time to be alone with Rob. This was the most annoying because that's when he tells me what he really thinks about everything going on. I know something is bothering him and that's bothering me. It's more than Christian, who's coming any day now, and the animals, he's distant. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
I'm back to my research of everything supernatural and occult. I need something to fill my days. I feel something brewing, more than college and those changes. It bothers me, so I research other things to keep from thinking about it.::sighs::I don't know what else to do.
I want to go outside to watch the sunset and listen to the coming storm, but my parents are outside working and they will ask too many questions. They think any change in me is cause for worry. I want to go into the country, but during the night. I want to be swallowed by shadows and sit in silence. The shadows of the cave before it was touched by humans. I see it as it should be and shiver at the thought of perfection in darkness, or maybe ignorance. You can't see it, the dirt or evil or whatever it should be called, therefore it is perfection until the light and noise come. Does that make one perfect? Does that make one a nothingness? Does that make for another form of death? A death without dying. Stuff to ponder. I think and want too much. LATER.