*cough, cough* and thus I've spread my disease to the readers

Daily Grind closed it's doors in Columbus and I became sooo sick(sinus infection or something like it) right afterward, but am not the only one. The parental units became ill as well, but that was from eating tainted peanut butter. I actually almost lost my voice and skipped classes b/c of it, but never went to the doctor. I may have to suck it up and go anyway, my stomach been bothering me lately. It's good for weight loss though! I'm sick of feeling sick and that over rules my severe distrust of doctors. But laying around all day does give one lots of time to ponder life and my goals.
People that used to go to the Daily Grind told me that they don't know why I'm not a culinary student or working at some nice restaurant. Not going to to this place anymore, I realized I don't like cooking all that much, not in the way required at many restaurants. I hated cooking at the daily grind- the same thing day after day, trying to make something the same way every time in 5-10 minutes, the embarrassment of knowing that not all things are as they appear and not in a good way. I like baking and cooking for family and friends, but I know that these people won't mind my experiments or occasional mistakes and will be honest about what works(I hope). To place this on strangers isn't something I take pleasure in and exhausts me in my constantly paranoid way.
Besides, my desire isn't cooking or even the teaching field I fight to enter(stupid transfer issues). I'm in love with the occult and the Goth culture in all its forms, it is the only thing I've found myself returning no matter the amount of time. Vampirism, witchcraft, voodoo, tarot cards, death as beauty, the outfits of corsets and ruffles and black, the shadow world I create for myself in which few others feel happy. Many of these few have a similar world, but still each has some differences. I find my goal in life to spend as much time in there as possible, and yet I feel like I will never know a damn thing about it. I guess I love it because it is elusive( I know that people already in this world don't think so, but, to an outsider looking in, it is). This is what happens when I lay around for several days.

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