The hardest thing is...

not having a heart, then getting one and wanting to be rid of it. (A phrase DJ and I came up with sometime ago.) I never used to care like this. Why now? Why have I allowed my opinions to go unnoticed? Allowed myself to fear doing something because of what people will say? I never gave a flying fuck. Why has it changed? I want to walk home in the rain and stand on the balcony just watching the moon. I want to randomly bust out my horns and walk around the campus while holding Puck. Why don't I? How has such simplistic freedoms been given up by me? This is what I think about at 3 and 4:00 in the morning. I think DJ calls me just so I drain his energy and he gets better sleep. No more calls at midnight from him. It's not too much of a difference from the normal amount of sleep I get, but still. Although, I did find out that, while I'm getting more sleep, it's still less then most people. Freaks. How can you waste so much time on something? 2-8 or 9 is fine, that's 6 to 7 hours worth, who needs more than that? How did I end up on sleep patterns? I'll ponder that as I work on other things for tomorrow. LATER